People say it goes by in the blink of an eye. But you don’t believe them. Not really. Not until your baby girl who was toddling around the house in tiny pigtails and diapers YESTERDAY is entering her last year of elementary school. Not until your sweet boy falls asleep in your arms for the first time in MONTHS and you realize he hasn’t looked so small in years.
Matthew tells me all of the time he will live with me forever and while part of me wishes that were so, I know this time of togetherness will pass away into memory. I still vividly remember crying in my room and my mom coming in to find out what was wrong. I was so upset about having to move out and leave her one day (I think I was about right 8). She looked at me so lovingly and explained, as only a mother as amazing as mine could, that while I was certainly welcome to stay, there was a whole big world to explore.
That is the true struggle of motherhood for me. Holding on while letting go. Holding on to the tender quiet moments the kids and I share reading a book or snuggling to watch a movie. Letting go and sending them down the street to play with friends. Holding on to the dreams I have for them but letting go to let them set their own paths. I know they are “only” 8 & 10 but it was just a single moment ago that they were babies. I also know that I have a TON of moments ahead of me. Some sweet, some bittersweet. It’s the dichotomy present when parenting strong children. Holding on and letting go may possibly be the hardest challenge of my life.
As another school year starts, I pray my children will grow and develop an even stronger sense of self while always knowing they have a safe place to land.
Here’s to holding on while letting go.
Have a great year Claire and Matthew!!
Love, Momma
